You’re doing so well!

Hey wandering souls

You’re doing so well! I’m so proud of your growth! You’re so healthy! All of these kind words are so nice to hear, but lately they have been hard to receive.

I have been lost in my anxiety for a few weeks. It comes to visit occasionally and likes to stay for a week or so. Sometimes it’s all consuming. I feel manic. My thoughts like a bundle of live wires that were frayed and left to mend themselves. Other times it hovers in the background and creates this fog that clouds my mind. It feels like I’m just going through the motions. I’m treading water to keep from drowning.

I use to ignore my anxiety and shove it down because I was told by several people that it was too much to deal with. That we don’t talk about these things. That we deal with them in private. I’ve been told by partners that they couldn’t be with someone with problems and that they don’t believe me when I said I struggle sometimes. It felt like every time I reached a hand out for help it was slapped away.

It took many years and probably too many spirals to learn that my anxiety isn’t my enemy. It is my mind telling me to slow down. Keep your boundaries. Rest. Recover. Recenter.

So, yes I am doing well. I am happy. I have done a lot of growing up in the past two years. I’m not perfect. I have my ups and downs.

Nothing in nature blooms year round. Give yourself time to feel your emotions. Slow down from the go go go. Remember that we are all human. We all have feelings. You may feel like you aren’t meeting the standards you’ve set for yourself. Let’s be honest you’re probably your own worst critic. I know I am. So please give yourself some grace and some extra love.

Sending you love and hugs my fellow wandering souls xoxo